Thursday 30 October 2008

Im sorry your dreams are not fulfilled

Im sorry my root has distant from me

In such diversity

Modern yet conservative

I don’t blame on any

Am accepting this


Sorry my interest differ from ordinary

It is not lame as you imagined

The future designed

Investment made in me

It vanished…


Your goal in me I cannot meet

Your future happiness I cannot feed

I cannot be who you want me to be

The person expected out of me


Im sorry Im not your little baby

Im sorry no more does she exist

The hopeful perfect kid you once breed

Have grown into something not so neat


No apologies ‘It’s a Girl!’… That’s me

Speaking for my sister

We rebel as we can be

This unfortunate weaker sex keeps us holding

Holding us back from many things

Not a curse

But a destiny

Million restrictions, no were not running

Tho’ sometimes, that urge we plead


Your goal in me I cannot meet

Your future happiness I cannot feed


Im sorry again

Yours truly

This one owes too many

Believe me

Accept it

Look at me

This is me

Please…

Tuesday 9 September 2008

Why Malay Rights?






Malaysia - Malaya - Tanah Melayu was build through Tamadun Melayu. The sultans, diraja Melayu and pendekar melayu.


New friends traveled from abroad and some stayed over permanently - accepted to the land of Tanah Melayu - not till long they became part of Tanah Melayu

Tanah Melayu was shared amongst the Non Bumis but big portion was still Melayu's Tanah.

The 'Hak Melayu' we are fighting for now is to preserve the Tamadun Melayu - which the Malays originally build - later developed together with the non-bumis - Malaysia was born.

This whole issue or 'fight' however is a big wake up call to the Malays. For them to appreciate what they have... and to realise how they have misused and taken advantage of the privileges provided by the ancestors... and perhaps consider giving a landing hand/ or be considerate to those who have to work thrice harder just to survive.

Wake up Malays - look at what you have - appreaciate it - keep up the fight.

~Malaysia is 'zone free' from natural disasters...non malays are accepted to Parliament and not considered minorities unlike many countries including the 1st world...multi racial, rich in culture...great food...blessed soil...~


To the people at the top, why stir us (the nation) up now?

Why create a fiery issue that only segregate us more?

And Why have pseudo-intention that this is to 'unite' us?



Tanya Pak Lah, Pak Lah tak peduli ...












Sunday 31 August 2008

SaD CloWn



I am a sad clown covered with smiles,

My big red lips are blood from my guts,

Pearl white teeth is a shield,

Kill me and I will live.



I entertain to feel free,
To be free I must reveal.



I am a sad clown covered with smiles,
Wipe the make up off and I will die . . .





We all have a sad clown in us




Thursday 14 August 2008













Another university term essay. Essay question based on two materials, a film called Hedwig and the Angry Inch and a play Joe Guy.


Altering one’s identity to fit in the society one lives in does not allow one to belong, as this denies one’s personal truth. The main characters of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Joe Guy changed their identity to be accepted in the society they chose to be in. However even after changing their identity, the characters were still completely isolated. It is only when they accept their true selves that they are whole. Although personal identity is shaped by society’s perception of an individual, the two plays suggests that there is also such a thing as personal truth beyond social appearances.

Hansel’s desire to leave East Berlin and come to America forced him to go through gender reassignment and change his name. (Mitchell and Task, 2000: 43) Hansel’s non typical-gender behaviour is constrained by the ‘cultural perceptions of masculinity and femininity’ (Gove and Watt, 2000: 75) of this dichotomy world, which does not allow Hansel the freedom to belong. This is proven in the lyrics shouted out by Yitzhak, Hedwig’s current legal husband and back up singer in the song Tear Me Down.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Hedwig is like that wall,

Standing before you in the divide,

Between East and West,

Slavery and Freedom,

Man and Woman,

Top and Bottom.

(Mitchell and Task, 2000: 15)

Therefore Hansel who is known as Hedwig after sex-change operation lived in her confused identity in an outlook of a woman or to be precise a transgender. As said by Weedon, ‘The body is central to identity – both chosen identities and those imposed by institutions.’ (Weedon, 2004: 14) Here society’s treatment towards Hedwig account largely from her appearance. This supposedly defines her gender, sexuality, age, beauty etc. In the scene from the movie when Hedwig was singing the song The Angry Inch, a man who was disturbed by Hedwig’s lyrics came up to him and called him a ‘faggot’. Such slanderous attack shows how a person treats Hedwig from what he sees. One could say that this man is judging Hedwig’s appearance and not Hedwig’s true personality. However a familiar rejection is thrown at Hedwig in her kissing scene with Tommy. Tommy expressed his love to Hedwig and this is obviously because of the chemistry and strong feelings he had towards her, however he refused to accept Hedwig’s ‘Barbie Doll-crotch’. Tommy was taken aback by Hedwig’s physicality but not Hedwig’s personality.

Hedwig was born biologically as a boy with male genitals and had lived as a boy until he met Luther but since her sex change she had adopted a female identity. She wore fake breasts made out of clay, (Mitchell and Task, 2000: 44) make up and women wigs (Mitchell and Task, 2000: 47). On top of her appearance and behaviour as a ‘woman and concealing any evidence of maleness’ (Taylor, 1997:201), it should be noted that this was not Hedwig’s true desire to become a woman. Hedwig was persuaded by her mother and boyfriend, Luther, to have his sex changed when Hedwig was perhaps just a boy with feminine qualities whose sexual preference is man. Therefore Hedwig had to deal living with society in an identity he denied. Hedwig is doing what Judith Butler called ‘performativity’. Butler explains that ‘Identity is performatively constituted by the very “expressions” that are said to be its results’ (Butler, 1990: 25). In Hedwig’s case her gender is just a performance but it does not define who she truly is.

Hedwig’s statement projected on screen while she was singing The Origin of love saying ‘Deny me and be doomed’ and the song Tear Me Down proves Hedwig’s appeal to be accepted in a defensive way. His point to people ‘Without me right in the middle, babe, you would be nothing at all’ (Mitchell and Task, 2000: 18) explains that he has equal role as others to be part of the world he lives in. Unfortunately in Hedwig’s case he was treated as ‘the other’.

Similarly the character Joe in Joe Guy was also treated as ‘the other’. He was bullied and outcast by his peers for his ethnicity. This is particularly obvious in act one, scene two, when the British-Caribbean kids treated him unfairly. Like Hedwig, Joe’s appearance was pointed out by his school mate. Marcus made a point that Joe was not one of them; he said “I mean, I know we look alike, but not as dark as you”. Joe’s identity at this stage was very much affected by colonialism, migration and creation of diasporic communities. Unlike the cooler kids of West Indies, they were born British. Therefore they had a sense of belonging living in Britain. Joe on the other hand was considered an ‘asylum seeker’ (Williams, 2007: 16) by his peers. Here Joe is dealing with ‘the dislocation associated with migration to Britain, questions of identity and belonging, alienation, prejudice and racism.’ (Weedon, 2004: 75)

The racism Joe received eventually shaped Joe’s identity. He dismissed his Ghanaian accent, changed his behaviour and preferred to be known as Joe Guy rather than Joseph Boateng for a supposedly cooler Caribbean style. This transformation comes with hopes of being the same as others or perhaps even more superior. In act one, scene five, one can see the transition from Joseph to the “the new and improved model” called Joe. One can see clearly of Joe’s new social identity by contrasting the character Joe in scene one with Joseph from the scene at the burger bar. The fact that Joe denied his Ghanaian ethnicity to change people’s perception on him is agreed by his father “I should never have brought you to England. They have you all mixed up over here.” (Act two, scene four)

Joe’s anger expressed in act one, scene five which was a reaction of being isolated from society proves his fight of wanting to be accepted. In his line “What do I look like to you, what do I sound like, some booboo big rubber-lips monkey-faced African bin bag?”, Joe’s struggle to rise above his appearance and show the possibilities of his self-identity is overshadowed by his roots and background. As Weedon said ‘The meaning of visual is not at the disposal of individuals but is overdetermined by the history of representation.’

Although Joe’s aim is to become visibly recognised and to have a sense of self worth, he has been denying his true self. In act one, scene seven, when Joe’s scandal with a woman was confronted by Naomi, it can be seen that Joe was doing this only not to be laughed at by his colleagues. He had been changing his identity to meet the expectance of others. However after a materialistic and superficial lifestyle as a footballer, he had never felt belonged. This can be seen from the early stage when he admitted to Naomi his struggle of fitting in “‘Believe.’ ‘Nice blood.’ ‘You go low dat.’ All my life! Sounding like the fucking rest of yer, makes me sick.” (Act one, scene seven) Joe’s slump in life and career got him to return to where he came before. Marcus who used to be a bully surprisingly turned a new leaf and became a decent police man. Seeing Marcus the person Joe has been trying to compete with and be like all this time, in his new identity, just proves that not only ‘our identities are shaped by social structures but we also participate in forming our own identities’. (Woodward, 2000: 1) Marcus ability to change into a better person came from his inner self. Joe’s visit to his father gave reminder of his old self. His father still accepted Joe regardless of all the troubles and this indirectly gave Joe the warm feeling of belonging. The Joe who used to have self respect towards himself, hard working, did not participate in drugs and not buried in fame and fortune decided to meet Naomi and get acquainted with his abandoned daughter. Rather than trying to fit in being someone that he is not, Joe could only escape his current identity he is performing when he returned to his past to retrieve his personal truth. Joe could only try so hard to change himself but he can never deny the true personality in him that has always been in his consciousness.

In Hedwig’s position, she only achieved in being whole when she tears open her dress and exposed her real physicality to people.( Mitchell and Trask, 2000: 72) She refused to put on her ‘woman outlook’ as she walked down the street towards the lights; a sign of rebirth. Setting Yitzhak free and allowing him to wear the wig also symbolised the need of one’s freedom to be one self. Although the way the world defined her and her identity relied on dichotomy, he or she, deep down Hedwig recognized her true self as an individual.

Both Hedwig’s and Joe’s ‘identities may be socially, culturally and institutionally assigned’. (Weedon, 2004:6) Although they decided to ‘redefine and reconstruct’ their identities to fit in the world which they live in, (Woodward, 2000: 39) it was only when they accepted who they were and lived as their true self, did they feel accepted and belonged.

Bibliography

BARKER, Chris, Cultural Studies Theory and Practise, London: Sage Publications

BARRY, Peter, Beginning Theory, Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2002

BUTLER, Judith, Gender Trouble; Feminism and the Subversion of Identity, London: Routledge, 1990

GILROY, Paul, The Black Atlantic, United Kingdom: Verso, 1993

GOVE, Jennifer and WATT, Stuart, “Identity and Gender”, Questioning Identity; Gender, Class, Nation, London: Routledge, 2000

HALL, Stuart, Critical Dialogues in Cultural Studies, London: Routledge, 1996

TAYLOR, Paul, Investigating Culture and Identity, London: HarpersCollin, 1997

MITCHELL, John Cameron and TRASK, Stephen, Hedwig and The Angry Inch, United States: The Outlook Press, 2000.

WEEDON, Chris, Identity and Culture; Narratives of Difference and Belonging, England: Open University Press, 2004

WILLIAMS, Roy, Joe Guy, London: Methuen Drama, 2007

WOODWARD, Kath, Questioning Identity; Gender, Class, Nation, London: The Open University, Routledge, 2000

Tuesday 5 August 2008

Short + Sweet



Can It Be Anymore Exciting Than This?
Original work, talented directors and actors, ALL in ONE International Festival?
Short + Sweet will be the next big thing in KL!


Milk shake, steak and cake. Cheese on rye, stir fry and... rhubarb pie?
Silly? Perhaps.
Intrigued? You better be!
It's prim-and-proper out the window, caution to the wind this August!
The Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPac) & Short+Sweet
present

SHORT+SWEET MALAYSIA

6 - 17 August 2008
Pentas 2, KLPac
Sentul Park
Jalan Strachan off Jalan Ipoh
51100 Kuala Lumpur.
(Click here for a location map & public transport options)
Over two weeks, Short+Sweet Malaysia will premiere thirty all-new 10-minute plays, a showcase of some of the best established and emerging writers, directors and talents in Malaysia and across the globe, including Kee Thuan Chye, Teng Ky-Gan, Shanthini Venugopal, Chacko Vadaketh, Hani Khaursar, Soefira Jaafar, Mien Lor, Christopher Ling, Abdul Qahar Aqilah, Megat Shahrizal, Ashraf Zain, Amelia Chen, Dean Lundquist, Paul Williams and many many others!
Competition will be fierce as a panel of industry judges select which plays will get a spot in the Gala Final. Audiences also get to vote for their favourite play to put it in the running for the People's Choice Award!
Top 20
Week 1 Programme: 6 - 9 August @ 8.30pm / 9 August @ 3pm
Week 2 Programme: 13 - 16 August @ 8.30pm / 16 August @ 3pm
RM25 / RM15 (students, sr. citizens & the disabled)
Staged Readings 10
10 August @ 3pm || Entrance by minimum donation of RM10
Click here to download the full Festival programme!
GALA FINAL
17 August @ 7pm || RM40 / RM25 (students, sr. citizens & the disabled)
Enjoy a 15% discount when you purchase a ticket for Week 1, Week 2 and the Gala Final!
For school bookings, purchase 10 tickets and get 1 FREE!
Comedy, tragedy, mystery, suspense and maybe even the odd bit of food thrown in,
it's high-drama 10 minutes at a time!
Click here to watch the trailer for Short+Sweet!
Call our Box Office for tickets now!
KLPac 03-4047 9000 or The Actors Studio @ BSC 03-2094 9400

Saturday 2 August 2008

In Loving Memory of Atuk Mak

This was written a couple of years ago when my grandmother passed away.



This morning at approximately 6.30 am UK time (1:23:19 pm Malaysian time), I was awoken by the sound of my phone indicating that I’ve got a text message. I knew from that second, its atuk mak.

I’ve been ‘singing the winter blues’ lately. Perhaps it’s the cold weather, overwhelmed with college work and every other thing that has been bothering my mind. That night I was feeling low, dull and uninspired which is only natural, I guess. I exchanged text messages with Mama and Kakak and knew that atuk was on her death bed.

It wasn’t like I was very close to her compared to her other grand children but I knew one thing is, both of us are emotionally attached. She is after all my grandma.

I did not wake up crying my eyes out or anything like that but the news did add to my bitterness. This is the first death of a close family member. It has been a quiet Saturday for me, had the whole house to myself, and gazed around just by myself. Here I recalled significant memories I have of her.

After Asar prayer, I read surah Yasin for her as it is the least I can do. The thought of calling Abah occurred to me many times but I figured he would need time of his own and probably busy running around handling the funeral. Being a tough person that he is I’m sure he is doing fine. He has done his best as a son, appreciating his mother’s sacrifice. Hopefully he doesn’t have any regrets of “wish I had…” in his mind.

Me and Atuk Mak, we do some how have some similar qualities. I have inherited some genes of hers. Becok, kecoh, gossip, bijak, and emotional. We also shared the same features. I’m just glad I made effort to visit her every holiday especially towards the few last ones although I could have done more. Looking at her I can imagine myself in many years to come. It’s hard when you are caught in your own little selfish world and everything else seems to matter more and every other people are way more important than your grandma.

I knew this was coming anytime soon seeing her state of health the last time I saw her. Right now I just feel like I would want to be there when she held her last breath. You know just to contribute a small wee and complete my responsibility as her grand daughter who’s not always there for her.

Reminiscing: I remember when I was a young brat and I lost my small piece of toy and made a huge case of it. When we got home she searched and searched till she found it and kept it for the next time Abah came to see her. I remember going to surau for sembahyang raya ages ago before some tragedy happened which changed our yearly Raya routine. Every time we leave to go back to KL, she would have tears in her eyes-Emotional. Her cooking which she stop doing long time ago since the new Aunt moved in; lontong, kuah kacang and best of all ikan masak asam pedas. Atuk Mak also did mengandam job for weddings. The bedtime stories about Abah’s childhood, which I vaguely remember, how she used to get on her bicycle selling kuih (cakes) for his pocket money. A day when she and Abah were crossing the road, they found RM5 note on the road which they later bought a bird. A parrot if I’m not mistaken.

She noticed my love for dancing. She noticed I would jump around the living room practising my ballet steps. That touched me. Honestly my other grandma was never pleased with what I do. (That doesn’t make me not like her any less; I must admit some of my values do come from that side of the family). But she did. No reason to hide or cover stories. From my eye she was religious, traditional yet flexible and open minded. Hence being quite liberal gives the opportunity which allows you freedom, creativity and independence. However the consequences of being flexible and open minded produced some Lanuns (pirates) in the family. No doubt about that! It’s only natural, I guess.

I thank my parents for not allowing me to do everything at the same time not stopping me from doing many things. They made me, Me, who I am now and the bigger person I hope to be. I don’t only learn from their good examples but also from their mistakes. I would want be there for you, Abah and Mama like how you’ve been there for us, forever. This I can assure you. Although, second thoughts when it comes to politics. It doesn’t tickle my fancy!

The best words Atuk Mak told my dad which was passed down to me is one of the best life lessons in the world,

“Biar genting, jangan putus!”


May Allah SWT create a clear pathway for her to heaven and let her rest in peace. AL – FATIHAH. Her presence and memories will never leave our sight.


Love,
Lost Pearl

Friday 13 June 2008

Western Theatre - Eastern Culture vs Eastern Theatre - Western Culture

University: For the module Culture Identities and Theatrical Practices , we had write an essay on the presentation we presented. We spoke about 'Western Theatre taking Eastern Culture vs Eastern Theatre stealing Western culture. Well something like that. One of my group member uses Peter Brook as an example of someone who takes in Eastern influence and include it in his theatre. I countered this by arguing that not only the Westerners that steals ideas from the East, as the East has also stolen techniques and cultures from the West.



In my presentation I spoke about the East’s manipulation towards Western theatre’s culture. As the East are often known as passive of Western ideas and images (Latrell, 1988:46), my presentation argues the opposite saying that the East plays a big role in manipulating such influence into their existing traditional theatre. The structure of my presentation is mainly based on Craig Latrell’s article After Appropriation. From the main ideas and arguments of his article, I then do further research in order to present a better understanding of the subject matter to class.

First, my group member Karina spoke about Peter Brooke. Brooke is known for inserting Asian influence into the practise of his production without recognition to the authenticity of indigenous cultural meaning. (Brown, 1998: 1) I continued by giving a commercial example. In Madonna’s video Frozen, the singer can be seen dancing and mimicking traditional Indian dance gestures. However like many pop icons, they insert these elements without any apparent reason to their songs and understanding of what lies beneath these movements. This is typical of the West to borrow other cultural elements as decoration in their experimental piece.

I then put across that intercultural borrowing is not just a one way process. I begin by giving the meaning of Intercultural Transfer as explained in Latrell’s article After Appropriation. Intercultural Transfer is

‘when an artist borrows performance techniques from a genre outside her own culture and inserts them into new performance contexts with out regard to indigenous cultural meanings’.(2000:48)

Here I counter Karina’s argument by stating that the East is capable of doing the same.

I told the class when mentioning the word Butoh, one automatically thinks of it as a “Japanese form of dance”. However, Butoh is very much influenced by Western style of dance. Kazuo Ohno was born 1906 in Hokkaido, Japan. He started to dance after being inspired by a Spanish dancer known as La Argentina. Ohno danced under various dancers including the first important modern dancer in Japan, Baku Ishii, who studied classical ballet and less classical form of Neue Tanz from Germany. These forms of dances are the basis of Ishii’s “Creation Dance” which then influenced the works of Ohno and Butoh’s creator Hijikata to creating a Japanese born eccentric dance. (Bourke, 2000) I stressed that just because Butoh seems organically Japanese’s new form of art and uses Japanese onomatopoeia in their pieces (Nanako, 2000) many are ignorant to the fact that it is highly influenced by Western styles and techniques.

Next I spoke about Khatakali Othello which ‘renders both Shakespeare and India monochromatic’ (Loomba, 2005:128-129). In 1966, a Delhi based dancer-director Sadanam Balakrishnan designed a production of Othello in Khatakali which stretches and played upon the rules of Khatakali. The play however was criticized for stepping out of traditional repertoire of Khatakali stories. I explained to class briefly what Khatakali is; a traditional performance ‘developed to be performed in the presence of the gods within a temple’ (Brown, 1998: 11) and its relation to Indian’s caste system. In a way such intercultural theatre gives awareness to Indian audiences of both Shakespeare and Khatakali but I personally feel that it is inappropriate. It took away Khatakali’s originality in many ways and uses Shakespeare as a way to address domestic issues. Another version of Indian Shakespeare, Othello: A Play in Black and White, again, through Shakespeare showed the issue of Indian racism and elitism. (Loomba, 2005: 132) I showed pictures of an actress enacting a scene from Shakespeare using Khatakali gestures in a production by TheatreWorks. (Peterson, 2003: 84)

Ania Loomba (2005:129) suggests that the writer, Balakrishnan, were not interested in Shakespeare at all. I put my opinion that by using Shakespeare, the writer took the opportunity to globalize India. As a result it infuriated Indian patrons who felt that the Khatakali-influenced Shakespeare was inappropriate for Khatakali; while Khatakali is too tedious and inaccessible for the Western market because for them, Khatakali is just a style. (Loomba, 2005: 129) In my point of view, as much as Shakespeare is in the international market due to post-colonialism, it does not work for Khatakali to be traded out of India in a Western theatre form. As explained above it is dance for the gods.

Similarly, many indigenous theatre in Southeast Asia borrowed formal and stylistics techniques of Western theatre such as staging and sound equipment into their performance. This is not saying that such elements are of Western origin but it does prove modernism. This is mainly for tourism purposes. (Latrell, 2000: 52-53) I demonstrated to class a few Balinese dance movement in hoping they would get an idea of its eccentricity and explained to them that every single movement has its story and meaning. Nowadays Balinese dance is not just reserved for temple ceremonies but performed at tourist venues. Indigenous theatre that was originally performed in sacred places like temples as part of praying ceremony is now performed in tourist venue. As John Russell Brown argued, indigenous productions are now performed in ‘western-style’ theatres with modern stage equipments while tourists are charged high priced tickets. (Brown, 1998: 10)

Another interesting theatre I pointed out is Puteri Gunung Ledang: The Musical staged at Istana Budaya (theatre), Kuala Lumpur. As I narrate the story to class, I passed around pictures of the musical production. Here it is obvious that the production uses Western theatre culture to produce a traditional legend on stage. On the official website of the musical, it is written that the objective of this production is to produce a unique Southeast Asian stage musical that is directly inspired by PGL film (it was first made into a film before it went on stage, an example of imperialism); Malaysia’s first attempt to stage its very own West End scale production. This proves the production is highly influenced by Western culture. Having seen the musical myself, the choreography is a fusion of Balinese and traditional Malay dance with contemporary and minimal hip hop influence. The music played by an orchestra incorporated traditional elements into a contemporary composition. True such production has promoted local cultures outside Malaysia and proved that a Southeast Asian country is capable of staging a big West End show, but would this ‘traditional/indigenous – West End/Broadway’ genre (similar to Lion King The Musical) abolish the authenticity of one’s culture? I let the class answer this for themselves.

Rishi gave feedback and pointed out that we need to discuss more about Post Colonialism. One reason for indigenous theatres to borrow or apply Western techniques into their performance is due to Post-Colonialism. Since countries such as India and Malaysia were once colonised by the British, the country’s culture are ‘affected by the imperial process from the moment of colonization to the present day.’ (Ashcroft, Griffiths and Tiffin, 1994: 2) Although these indigenous theatres still practise their traditional culture they feel the need to ‘adopt’ culture from coloniser with the ‘assumption being that it has universal validity’. (Barry, 2002: 196) Pointing to example above, traditional performances performed using staging facilities is one way to show coloniser’s superiority in defining modern. As for PGL The Musical, the production literally adapted the form of Western staging and performance producing a Malaysian musical with cross-culture quality. It could also be said that these are the practises of eurocentricism which explains the use of English subtitles in performance and program books written in English.

Although intercultural transfer introduces one’s culture to another, indigenous theatres should preserve their traditional culture.


~ Despite what I said about PGL, I thought it was groundbreaking. Have not seen P. Ramlee the musical though. What a shame. Sigh. I heard it is just as good~


Bibliography

Books

Colin Essential English Dictionary, Glasgow: Harper Collin, 2003

BARRY, Peter, Beginning Theory; An Introduction to Literary and Cultural Theory, Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2002

DESMET, Christy and SAWYER, Robert, Shakespeare and Appropriation, London: Routledge, 1999

LOOMBA, Ania, “Shakespeare and the Possibilities of Postcolonial Performance” A Companion to Shakespeare and Performance, Ed, Barbara Hodgdon and William B. Worthen, London: Blackwell Publishing, 2005, pp 128-132

MARTIN, Carol and BIAL, Henry, “Introduction” Brecht Sourcebook, Ed, Carol Martin and Henry Bial, London: Routledge, 2000

MARSDEN, Jean, The Appropriation of Shakespeare, Hertfordshire: Harvester Wheatsheaf, 1991

PAVIS, Patrice, Theatre at the Crossroads of Culture, London: Routledge, 1991, pp 230-240

ASHCROFT, Bill, GRIFFITHS, Gareth and TIFFIN, Helen, The Empire Writes Back, London: Routledge, 1994.

Internet Sources

BOURKE, Emily,Butoh: The Darkness Amongst Joy, 2002, Tangentz Performance Group. Availale at http://www.butoh.net/DATJ.html> [Accessed 6 Dec 2007]

Electronic Journal

LATRELL, C., 2000. After Appropriation. The Drama Review [online], 44(4).

[Accessed 6 Dec 2007]

BROWN, J., 1998. Theatrical Pillage in Asia: Redirecting Intercultural Traffic. New Theatre Quarterly 14 [online], 1 (NTQ53), pg 9-19 [Accessed 6 Dec 2007]

NANAKO, H., 2000. Hijakata Tatsumi: The Words of Butoh, The Drama Review [online], 44(1), pg 12-28. [Accessed 6 Dec 2007)

PETERSON, W., 2003. Consuming the Asian Other in Singapore: Interculturalism in TheatreWorks’ Desdemona, Theatre Research International [online], 28(1), pg 84.

Golda's Balcony



Last night I went to see a one woman play at the theatre I work in Kings Cross : Golda's Balcony.( Well I was actually doing my shift at the theatre.) It is a one woman play about the Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir. It was breathtaking. Not only was it educational, but I was also mesmerized and impressed by Tovah Fledshuh's performance.

The auditorium fitted about 500 people. It is a very intimate theatre and the seats were almost sold out. I sat at the last row and I was touched by the performance; the text, the energy, the emotion, the humour, Ms Fledshuh was powerful. Usually during show time I would just walk around to kill time but in this show I actually sat down for the whole 90 minutes. More interestingly, I now know more about the religion, the birth of Israel and other political and historical facts. Fascinating!

The Q and A session was informational and lively. Ms Fledshuh spoke about the process of rehearsing the play, how she approached the text, the places she visited and the research she did. She also spoke about the charity she does for Israel. She has an amazingly entertaining personality.

A couple days ago she gave gifts to all the theatre staff as a way of saying thank you for selling her tickets. I mean I am only working for pocket money but her gesture made me feel appreciated.

After I finish hoovering the front of house, picked up rubbish in the auditorium and flirt a little with the tall tough bodyguard of hers that night, I finally got her autograph. Oh and I also took photo with her : )

During the Q and A session, a man asked her if she was upset that most of the audience are Jewish? She answered " You know what, I'm an American. As long as you pay for your seats I'm happy!"
If only she knew she had a Muslim in the audience that night. LOL

In leaving a beautiful countryside to pursue dreams in the Big Oyster

I wrote this poem as a way to say goodbye to my friends. In my first year in England I was studying in an Art College, somewhere in West Midlands, near the border of Wales. Beautiful place, beautiful people, great experience, found my true love. However to pursue my dreams I had to move to London for University. I read this poem to my friends while we were all sitting on the grass having lunch, on summer afternoon.


Another new place,

Another heart ache,

I wish I could stay,

But I must go and put on a brave face


This is my journey,

Each one of you is part of my story,

Parting away gets harder and harder each time,

But you know reaching for your dreams has never been easy


This place is a history,

Where I learned many new things,

Not just acting and singing,

But also new vocabularies,

That is – ‘minging’ ‘twat’ ‘lush’ and ‘ghastly’

Please keep our memories,

On how perky, ditsy and crazy I can be,

It’s so heavy for me to leave,

A bunch of friends I call family.


Although it was temporary,

You guys kept me away from feeling homesick and lonely,

Especially in a beautiful city like this,

So dead, gloomy, sleepy and always raining


In this foreign land,

I’ve had loads of fun,

Thank you talented teachers and brilliant friends,

This ford surely stays in mind


One day, hopefully, when you see me on TV,

As a Tweenies, HI 5 or look alike in Disney,

(Or just somewhere teaching)

Don’t worry my head won’t get bigger than this,

I promise to stay humble and sweet, and forever keep my cheesy choreography


So beloved friends,

Believe in yourself,

No matter what,

Think in your head,

You can make it happen,

You can do this and that


I know we’re struggling,

Both you and me,

But if you trust yourself and open up your heart,

You know you can achieve just about anything.


This might not be my best work of Art,

But it certainly does come from the heart,

This might be, for me, a sad farewell,

But to our friendship is not goodbye.



~Missing being in the Ford~

Islamic Leadership

I do not remember the date when I wrote this. But it was one of those nights when my head kept thinking and thinking stopping me from resting. I got up sat in front of my lap top and start writing. Couple of hours later, I emailed this to my dad. This is the first time I am sharing it with others. Dad did not give a respond, he did however read this.



Christmas is over and I have been studying to finish up my essays/assignments. One of my New Year resolutions is to make effort to study the Quran before bed. I say study because I am not reading and reciting the Arabic words in the Quran but actually reading the English translation of the Quran The Meaning of the Holy Qur’an given to me by Dr Rozman.

While reading the introduction, it occurred in my head many issues relating social, political system and culture within the society - particularly Malaysia. I have been taught a module called Culture Identities and Theatrical Practise in university where we study topics ranging from post-colonialism, ethnicity, gay/sexual identity, gender etc. within the theatre. This is my favourite theory module so far. I seemed to grasp it very well and it made my brain stir, think and make analysis on life, society and the world culture. Therefore I must say all these influenced my head while studying the Quran.

Here in the Book’s introduction it mentioned how Quran was put together like how it was brought down in pieces according to the needs of Prophet’s (peace be upon him) community. That is; Jibrail came down to gua (a cave) where Nabi bertapa (meditate), taught him some versus for him to spread. As Nabi Muhammad (SAW) is illiterate he had to memorise them. Hence Nabi proposed to his umat to get them educated as it is the way for them to advance. Here, it is proven that Islam encourages its people to be educated.

It occurred to me that Malaysian leaders really should literally, (or if not, use this as main guidance) follow Islamic way (the way Prophet is as a leader) in leading community since politicians in Malaysia are very much leaning towards Islam as their way to win communities. However the choice of using Islam - whether it is sincere leadership or a ‘catch’ to attract votes for personal abuse of power, that question frequent my mind. In page xix in this book it’s written that the style of spreading Islamic movement was orally and not through treaties. Therefore it was delivered by a leader in such way…

‘… he had to appeal simultaneously to the mind, to the heart and to the emotions, and to people of different mental levels and dispositions. He had to revolutionise people’s thinking, to arouse in them a storm of noble emotions in support of his cause, to persuade his Companions and inspire them with devotion and zeal, and with the desire to improve and reform their lives. He had to raise their morale and steel their determination, turn enemies into friends and opponents into admirers, disarm those out to oppose his message and show their position to be morally untenable. In short, he had to do everything necessary to carry his movement through to a successful conclusion.’

All these quality should be practised by not only politicians but importantly Religious and Community leaders. Yes, Islamic leaders can be very knowledgeable in their subjects but how far do they reach the troubled, confused and exploited society? How much do they fill themselves in understanding their people? Yes, they know this is wrong, that is Haram or Halal. Solution? Attack, Judge, Condemned? Do they actually find the root of its problems and prevent the situations from happening in future? Maybe not all of them do. For example, I believe that these leaders grew up in their own world and perhaps have never been associated with people outside their circle. Hence, they’d never understood what these people are going through. My point here is Islamic leaders in this modern world cannot only concentrate on Islamic literature and content but they must also have some modern/western education and exposed to cultures as well as civilise with commoners – Vice versa. I am not saying that there is none of such leaders exist, but maybe very few. The world is changing and moving forwards, Quran stays true. Therefore the way you apply the Quran must be as truthful as the Holy book but also as forwards as the society and modern world. Right now Islam is constantly portrayed as an uncivilised ruling system practised by conservatives in the news. What a shame. This is not true. My English friends are surprised when they found out that I am a Muslim. This is due to them stereotyping Muslims. My English boyfriend said to me when we first started going out - how it is a shame because of certain extremist Islamic society, Islam’s name is ruined in general.

What was the problem with these extremist Muslims? I believe it’s their government who lead their country. Point stressed – leader.

My Ustazah Upiq in school never grew up in a religious family. She was a straight A’s student but found faith and it opened her heart to wear the veil and be an Islamic teacher. Of many of my Ustazah (Teacher who teaches Islamic Studies) she understood her students the most because she was one of us when she was growing up, therefore she reached to us better. Dr. Rozman who is obviously highly educated and also religious, study both the bible and Quran. He can speak about Islam to you and argue on Christian belief in an intelligent manner that is just inspiring. This is what I meant by how current leaders should be.

I know nuns or Christians from church reach out to help their people by doing charity ( I know this from my friend J in West Midland, whom I go to church with on some Sundays) and so on at the same time attract these people to Christianity. I’m not sure how much if we do the same at home.

Also in the introduction of this Book it says that these messages from God explained ‘how a healthy society, state and civilisation could be established and the principles on which the various aspects of human life should be based.’ This book is guidance for the human beings. ‘The subject of the Book is MAN’.

These messages also dealt with specific problems facing the Muslims. For example, how to deal with ‘hypocrites (who are harming the Muslim community from within) and with the non-Muslims…’ Yes, there are many, we do not have to look very far, they are everywhere and some of us might have encountered some of them. I know I have.

Having said all that, such qualities of Islamic leadership, in my humble opinion is very affective. It should however not be misused solely as strategies but one must have true and sincere heart in contributing. Just like a play in theatre, it could be purely for selfish entertainment and commercial appeal or it actually has meanings and messages to be delivered to spectators whether to stir intellectual arguments, teach a lesson or two, exposing current troubles or maybe even sincerely voicing piece and harmony.

I am not writing this to condemn or disrespect any politicians or religious leaders but rather a share of my expression of thoughts or perhaps personally pleading for better community.

(3.34 am London time)


I am waiting for Malaysia's next great leader, the country is in need for one . . .



These are just my thoughts. Don't like it, don't take it in. Its just thoughts :) Thanks for reading.

Equipt yourself first!

This is an email from my dad, responding to my article below. Bless him!

Dear Lost Pearl,

I am very touched after reading your mission to help the unfortunate kids of Chow Kit. I have been doing business in Chow Kit for 20 years and I can claim to the fact that I grow old in Chow Kit.Some of the kids you are talking about is now in their 20s, some make it but the majority, God knows what happen to them. It is not a new problem and neither the problem will go away. This is simply because a lot of people benefited from the drug problem, namely the drug supplier, the drug lords,and even the authorities that is suppose to suppress the problem.What I am saying is that a lot of money is to be made from drugs.This phenomena happened every where in the world as long as there are greedy and crooked people.

As much as I want you to concentrate on your studies and enjoy your university days as I believe it will form the most memorable part of your life, I am also very glad that my kid realise that life is not all rosy - if you bother to look around you. There are a lot of people need some form of help and Chow Kit happened to be one of the worst area for people with drugs related problem.To respond to your noble project let me stress out some pointers to guide you along the path of endless anxiety.

Before you embark on this idea please be very aware that no one person can solve the world's misery and the world is the same as when God introduce human being on planet earth. This is simply because God installed the verb NAFSU (temptations) into human beings, and Nafsu has always been applied wrongly which leads to world's misery which also include the anak Chow Kit yang terbiar in Kuala Lumpur. This only constitute a very tiny portion of the misery I am talking about. Once you have accepted the fact that you are just trying to do your part as a person to contribute in what ever way selagi darah mengalir, then only you can proceed with your noble project.

Again in order to be successful in your project please be ready to equip yourself first because it is not going to be plain sailing even if you may think that you are doing something good to the people or the nation. The following are the things that you should equip yourself first:


1.educate yourself and be an intellectual (which you are pursuing now, ok good),

2.you must be rich or at least you are financially independent.Why? because this is NGO and you are bound to handle contribution or public money and people will always find excuses to accuse you of misappropriate public fund especially when they know that you are also in dire need of money to live.If you are a multimillionaires you need not listen to them and one important thing is that you are not tempted to misuse the fund for yourself. Money is not everything but everything needs money!........you are not rich yet!

3.Stability in your family, preferably married and have children of your own and they are not giving you headache......................................you are not there yet

4.you must be able to master STRESS MANAGEMENT. In this kind of work stress will come from the kids, staff, family and friends,pak sebok,bibik-bibik, and all it takes is for you to make a little blunder and they will go after you.They will not consider all the good work you have done before.(I will enroll you into hbo (Dad's initials) school of stress management later).......I noticed that you are improving on your stress control lately,tahniah!

5.make a name of yourself be it as a dancer, actress,producer, or in business so that people will recognize you and make your job much easier................i believe you will achieve this without much problem.

6.be sincere, honest and don't give a damn what people say...........i believe you are


Above are a few pointers to stimulate your brain......................to be continued...


Love,

Abah


do You wanna HELP?


Wednesday, January 03, 2007


Today I came across an article while I was doing my hair at a hairdresser in One Utama. The article was about kids in Chow Kit. The article speaks about their lifestyle - drugs, sex, child prostitution, theft, gangsterism etc. Desperate to survive, their willingness to do just about anything would not stop at any extend. Most of them are homeless and comes from a broken background. Even worst, some of them are barely teenagers. They are either scattered around or supported by some 'PiMP' who uses these kids to their fullest advantage and yet not promising any better future. Towards the last bit of the article, it mentioned about a Pastor who was very kind to take these kids into a shelter for homeless kids. The address and phone no. of these shelters was also written, in case people want to help or found kids that need such help.
My father owns a Shell Station in the heart of Chow Kit. Kakak (sister) is currently working for abah (dad), mostly doing work at Shell, Chow Kit. Mama has never really liked the idea of any of us girls working there. Simply because it’s Chow Kit. After all it is the 'Bronx' of Kuala Lumpur, very notorious.
I am writing this because the article somehow really touched me. I grew up comfortably. No matter how much nonsense and troubles happening in my house there are always more than enough food on the plate, more-than-you-can-ask-for shelter and support under the wings of my parents. Alhamdullilah i have never had a super hard time when it comes to living - financial and material wise. Hence, it does not make me an ignorant and heartless person. Like I said, this article really touched my soft spot.

As appreciation on all the blessings I get in this world, I want to HELP. I am glad that there are some people out there taking action on what was happening. What upsets me though is, if you look at the pictures (of the Chow Kit kids) in the article, they are all Malay kids. But who takes them in and offer help? A kind Pastor.
Where are all the Muslims out there? Not against other religion at all, but I’m a Muslim, these kids are Muslims, and Malaysia is pretty much a Muslim country.

I figured ... why point fingers to others? I have a project in mind. Thinking about this, the more I want to make loads of money and be a star. Besides wanting to make enough money in future to pay my parents back for all the money they wasted on me, I want to open up a shelter home for kids. Hopefully if I make it out there, I could use my influence and connections to get more people to help. A place where their everyday education and lifestyle are based on the beautiful teaching of Islam and it's holy Quran. Nothing extreme or cult-like-preaching. Just like how we all modern Malay kids grew up in a Muslim family. You know, teach them what we learn, the morality of good Muslim, principles, prayers so they know no matter what, they have Allah SWT to turn too. I see that nowadays I can hardly find people with ideal Muslim qualities with an open and non judgemental mind. I do however see many 'extreme-super religious-judge mental’ and sometimes hypocrite Malays. So let’s hope this Kid's Home Shelter - whatever u call it- hopefully it will produce good community to the country.

Yes, who am I to say all this?
I'm not a perfect example of a modern Muslim woman, but I grew up as a Muslim, in a Muslim family, have strong faith in Allah SWT and Islam and have also survived my sorrows by turning to Him and the teachings of Islam. Although many have misinterpret and misjudge Islam, if only they could discover the beauty of Islam, it's values, the meanings behind each rules and teaching in depth, they'll understand what I’m saying. Not just picturing Islam as cold, strict rules and regime, heartless, no freedom, kill or die religion. It must be distinguished between Al Kaeda/Taliban/Saddam Hussein (and other cruel and heartless extremist who claims themselves Muslims), people from certain Middle East countries with THEIR lifestyle, tradition, belief, with Islam & Quran. Although these two (Arab and Islam) are highly connected in the public eye, we Malaysians are Muslims, we follow guidance from the Quran just like them but we don't even practise half of what they do (as in lifestyle).Why? Because we are Muslims with Malaysian lifestyle. We don't have any need to kill and rule in an abusive way. As for the extremists, that’s their lifestyle and how their country are ruled, and they happen to be Muslims just like us in Malaysia.
In fact till now, I never stop learning and getting information about Islam. Its only by learning what you are practising will you understand Islam better - And this is a reminder to myself as well.
Let me clear it again. I make sins. I'm no perfect Muslim, especially from my outer look. I myself try hard to keep up with everything but one thing I can declare, I'm an average practising Muslim who have strong faith in Allah SWT and Islam.
Back to my plan.

So I was thinking of building something sort of like a Boarding house homeless shelter for kids. It mustn’t necessarily be for Muslims kids only. Just any homeless kids. A place where beds and food are provided with proper timetable to fit everyday activities. Kids are sent to school. At night they will have 'prep' or study session. Maybe a bit of TV or movie early in the evening. Outdoor sports and playing sessions during late afternoon. Train them to pray five times a day as group/family. Also teach them living skills such as cooking, washing and cleaning. Let the house be theirs. Hopefully with enough support (especially financial) we could even bring in tutors few times a week to help them with studies and a counsellor to speak to them at least every month or fortnightly. They surely do need counselling. An ustaz or ustazah to come and teach them Islamic Studies and reading of Quran . I imagine someone like Ustazah Upiq who used to teach me Tassawur Islam SPM. She would be perfect because she is modern, understanding and smart. Teenagers need more preachers like her. I believe Islam wants us to move forwards not backwards.
NGOs can organise educational events and activities for school holidays. The older teenagers can get holiday job for working experience and earn extra money for themselves.
It would be ggRrrreaaTT if association like UMNO could contribute; after all we are helping anak-anak melayu. Rather than berpecah kepala , gaduh sesama Melayu for power and fakeness, this would be a good and genuine way to serve the community (which is the main intention of this project).

Which would you rather want? These kids grow up as Hero Rem-PiT Jalanan or Hero Negara??

I believe if I could get a good dedicated team together, we could organise this and get it done. My concern is who? Adakah itu Anda?? I need a strong team to organise everything, from finding a place to build the house, research and preparation on budget for constructions, wages and maintenance, to selecting guardians who will be taking care of the kids. The team can consists of accountants, ex guru besar sekolah, kontraktor2 melayu, tukang kebun, tukang masak,engineers, cikgu sekolah, politicians, volunteers or just anybody honest for the job.It will be endless research on EVeRyThinG and visits to other homeless shelters as well as lots of begging from big rich companies who hopes to cut down their taxes.

You might wonder why don't I just raise money and give it to existing homeless shelter and have it easy?

One - because there isn’t enough homeless shelters (space) for these kids anyways.

Two - I want to be fully involved, help with my own bare hand, see exactly where the money goes, and watch these kids live and excel.

Three - C'mon Lah people, maju ke hadapan, make a difference. We don’t want to be ignorant do we?

Oleh itu (therefore), let us all gather around, join our hands, be united, stand together and make a difference. Build the future of Malaysia. DonT LaugH! I'm serious! In long term if everything excels, we could even build a home in every state. But let’s start with the Kuala Lumpur - Chow Kit kids first. One step at a time.
Of course this would not happen in the blink of an eye. It'll probably even take years. But one thing I can assure you about me, once I put my mind and heart into something I will fulfil it. It wont be a rush project but I hope it could be well planned and done. Quality.